Do you ever feel like you are in a rut? Like you can’t do anything right sometimes? Work is overwhelming…the kids are at each other…there doesn’t seem to be much peace in the house…and you and your wife are distant. Well here is an idea for you…
Take a few days – maybe even five – and do some special things for your wife. I know – you’re thinking “I have so much going on – especially with kids running around like crazy – how will this help me?” You’ll be surprised if you haven’t done it! First, you WILL get a reaction from your wife. And let me tell you something else – the romance that could follow might be the best you’ve had in a while!
Here’s what to do: Day 1 – Make a few small love notes and put them in places where she will be surprised. I have done them in her toothbrush drawer, her jewelry box, or her underwear drawer.
Day 2 – Send her some flowers at work or bring some home with you. You don’t have to spend much money. A small bouquet from the grocery store even – $9.99 to $14.99. Remember – it’s the thought that counts!
Day 3 – At least two times during the day, send her a sweet text so she knows you are thinking about her. Maybe even text a meaningful picture of the two of you – or one that represents the two of you. I have one of me carving “I love Joya” into an old cabin on a hike we did a couple of years ago. It’s my favorite.
Day 4 – Take something off your wife’s plate. If she cooks dinner for you and the kids – tell her you are taking care of it tonight. If she always does the laundry, do one of the loads start to finish. If she does the homework with the kids or does bath time with them – you do it for the night. Last week I did five loads of laundry. Wow…that’s a lot.
Day 5 – Here is probably the most important one of all, and depending on your situation, possibly the toughest. Just go up to her at the end of the day and ask her about her day. Listen closely to her. If she doesn’t say anything or just says “fine”. Push a little more and say “Was there anything interesting that happened?” Try to engage her a bit. If she still doesn’t bite, just say “Ok, well I want you to know that I really appreciate you and all you do for our family.”
Again, guys, depending on where you guys are in your relationship this may catapult you into a wild weekend night where you love on each other – A LOT – or it may just get you both back on the train tracks so that you are both headed in the right direction. I’m hoping for the wild night – there is nothing better in this world than making love to your wife and laying closely to her all night afterward. It makes life so much better. Let me know how it goes!
“The most important marriage skill is listening to your partner in a way that
they can’t possibly doubt that you love them.” – Diane Sollee