Have you ever thought to yourself: climbing a mountain can’t be that hard, I’m in shape, the weather is good, this will be a piece of cake.
Well, blending a family is like climbing a mountain for sure. At times it can be straight uphill, and LOOK OUT, sometimes you can get caught in a vicious thunderstorm along the way.
You may have noticed we have been quiet for the last few weeks. Well the truth is, blended life – and regular life – happened and we got caught in that vicious thunderstorm while climbing our family mountain. We hit just about all the obstacles that we could: Joya and I struggled as a team, each of our kids were going through something, and on top of that we had the largest external factors of remarried life pull us into a ditch.
We did have a pocket or two of wonderful family days but overall we were not united as a family. Being united as a blended family takes time and work and if you get caught in that thunderstorm while climbing a mountain it is so important to find shelter and make sure you aren’t exposed for a long period of time. In other words, find the path back to unity as QUICKLY as you can.
When you are united as a couple leading the blended family, you can climb Mount Everest! Well, maybe Mount Washington. But, when you are disconnected the mountain gets steeper and you lose your breath quickly.
In the midst of our thunderstorm over the last few weeks, I often found myself comparing our family to others. Why can’t we be like them? Look how they all love each other and laugh together all the time. If we just had (fill in the blank) we would all be happier like that other family. Pastor Bed Feldott at Cape Cod Church revealed something so important yesterday – comparing yourself to others is a killer.
- Comparing where you are versus where they are is unhealthy
- Compare your progress not your position
- Compare the progress of your team (read marriage and family)
We will stay focused on comparing the progress of our marriage only – and our family only. Not that of others.
Most importantly, we are back on the path to unity, the skies are bright blue and we are enjoying our hike up the mountain again.
P.S. Joya introduced me to hiking which I had never done in 47 years until I met her. LOVE IT!
“A happy marriage is like climbing a mountain–the climbers are safe only so long as they are tied securely together.” – Robert W. Burns