Let’s face it friends – those of us who have gone through divorce and remarriage are dealing with, or have dealt with, someone in their life who creates hurt.
Pastor Ben at Cape Cod Church said it best: “Every story has a hurt, a villain we can point to as a source of pain”.
What happens when we have a villain? What happens when there is someone who causes hurt to your marriage or your family? The hurt that is created can overwhelm us, twist our lives around, and distract us from what is most important.
When the hurt overwhelms us, many times we want to hurt back. And that creates a vicious circle of unhealthy living.
That story of hurt becomes our life. It becomes the only story we want to tell. And the other stories in our lives get lost. Worse, it begins to justify our own hurtful actions toward others.
Now the question is: what can we do about it?
First and foremost, we have to remove it. We have to remove the ‘beam’ from our eye that is getting in the way of seeing clearly and living our lives to the fullest.
Yes, we get it. The problem is the other person – not us! They are the ones that have the ‘beam’ in their eye and they have to remove it first. That may be true, but we cannot control the other person – we can only control ourselves.
Once you focus on your actions, and not on the actions of someone else, it can begin to free you from the overwhelming hurt. Rather than focus on what they are doing – focus on what you are doing or what you are going to do.
And believe us, we know it is not easy and we have not been successful at removing the ‘beam’ from our eyes. We remove it – and it comes back. We remove it again – and it comes back (sometimes even bigger). But we keep working on removing it.
When we remove the ‘beam’ and focus on ourselves, on our marriage, on our family – it is freeing and life becomes easier.
Unfortunately, there may always be a villain in our lives and we may be at risk of a ‘beam’ in our eye forever. But we work every week, every day, every minute, at keeping our eyes clear. We know the freedom that comes from forgiveness, grace and love.
We encourage you to work on removing any ‘beam’ from your eyes and know that we are here to talk or exchange messages any time you need it. Life is also easier when we have others to work with.