We just finished up leading the 5 Love Languages Life Group at our church last night. This study is such a great way to learn how best to understand and serve your spouse. As we concluded, we learned something so important about being “in love” – and those first tingly feelings you get when you know your spouse is the one.
That “in love” experience usually ends within the first 2 years. Then what?
The following two paragraphs are from the 5 Love Languages work book:
We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high— and now pursue “real love” with our spouses. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the “in love” experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the “in love” experience has run its course.
Working to build and grow a marriage never ends – and going through a study like the 5 Love Languages is a fun way to learn. We encourage everyone to learn your spouse’s love language. Let us know how we can help you!
5 Love Languages: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/