Like it or not, counseling has a bit of a stigma to it.
Some believe that counseling is not necessary and we should be able to resolve our problems on our own or by using some other resource. This is an understandable opinion. Some would rather reach out to close friends, their church, read expert books together, or watch marriage videos rather than bring a stranger into the marriage.
Others believe that it is even offensive to have to talk to a counselor or others about the problems inside their marriage. This is also understandable. Marriage is very personal – and marital problems are that much more personal. How on earth could a stranger really help?
Then, there are those who believe that counseling is the ‘be all and end all’. Those folks believe that counseling is the only resource that can help and is critically important if the marriage is to succeed.
Of course, all opinions are valid, but, we want to state clearly that we believe marriage counseling is indeed a resource that can help you and one that is worth pursuing.
First, in order to have success in counseling, you must find someone that both of you connect with. If one, or both, of you don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of someone you just met, then it will never work.
Additionally, you want to know up front that a counselor will be able to address, and actually help you on, the issues that you need to confront.
Second, the right counselor can help point out things that you simply are not able to see in the midst of desperation. And let’s face it, if resentment has been building toward your spouse and you haven’t been dealing with conflict – then desperation or crisis will hit and you won’t be able to see the other person the way you did when you first met them. Which, by the way, is ALWAYS important to remember! NEVER forget those wonderful, magical, early days of your relationship!
Third, the right counselor can quickly get you both viewing things differently and reverse you toward a healthy path forward.
We also will go a little further and suggest a Christian counselor if you decide to seek out a marriage counselor.
A Christian counselor has a unique advantage of being able to approach issues holistically based on the following dimensions:
- We are physical beings with bodily needs.
- We are social beings with relationship needs.
- We are psychological beings with cognitive needs.
- We are spiritual beings with a need for God.
For couples who are not Christ followers, you will find that unique approach may just provide the compassion you need and desire from a counselor. Again, we believe it’s worth putting in the mix.
Having said all of this, we are happy to report that a Christian counselor has so far filled out needs and helped put us on a healthy path forward.
A Christian counselor is trained and committed to helping people like you that honestly don’t know where to begin or how to proceed to see life return to normal. – FamilyLife.com