Pink & blue sunglasses

Have you ever been in a discussion with your spouse where you are saying one thing that seems simple and to the point, and your spouse is saying something back that seems equally simple and to the point?  All of the sudden you see your spouse’s attitude change instantly.  And your reaction is: “WHAT?  What did I say?  What did I do?”

We just started working through the Love and Respect series which has been SO eye opening to us.  Emerson Eggerichs is brilliant and hits the nail on the head!  He explains that many times in conflict, the issue doesn’t seem to be the the issue.  “What is the issue when the issue isn’t the issue?,” he says.

Watch Emerson Eggerichs explain “the issue”.Screenshot 2019-04-09 17.16.34

You think your spouse should understand you because your comments, on the surface, appear to be straightforward.  And you think you understand your spouse’s comments for the same reason.  By the way, take this to a texting “conflict” and the situation can get even worse!  A simple text can be anything BUT simple!

Why on earth doesn’t your spouse get it?  It’s so simple!

Well guess what?  IT IS SIMPLE!  You and your spouse both don’t get it because you are different people!  As Emerson Eggerichs explains, a woman wears pink sunglasses and pink hearing aids and everything gets filtered through them.  A man wears blue sunglasses and blue hearing aids and everything for him gets filtered through them.

Watch Emerson Eggerichs explain pink and blue sunglasses.Screenshot 2019-04-09 17.17.34

Now that you know this, what can you do?  Well in short order, you have to work with your spouse on understanding that you both see things differently.  This isn’t something that will happen overnight and it will take time to regularly be aware that words and phrases mean different things to you and your spouse.  “I don’t have anything to wear” is a perfect illustration of how we see things differently.

The entire Love and Respect conference, book and materials are about understanding that, for the most part (and there will be exceptions), women want to be loved and men want to be respected.  While it is simple, there is a great deal to learn about loving and respecting each other.

We are only through week one of the Love and Respect 8 week study, but you can be sure we will be sharing something fun and new every week.  Stay tuned!


2 thoughts on “Pink & blue sunglasses

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  1. I think most people want to be respected. If you read the book there are a couple of examples that show Eggerichs clearly does not respect his wife I feel Eggerichs is telling women what their experience should be rather than actually trying to understand women are more diverse than how he portrays them. I think he portrays marriage like something out of Leave it to Beaver where the wife stays home and the man is a well respected person at work. There are so many parts in the book that are questionable, I just don’t find it an edifying book for women


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