We owe it to our kids

When we got remarried, one of our goals was to model a loving, healthy marriage for our 4 children.  While this has remained in the forefront of our minds, the world around us has given more meaning to this specific goal.

We all have seen it, though it may not immediately register because we are so busy with our own lives, our own struggles and our own celebrations.

However, as we were reading through some blogs and news sites about marriage recently we were hit over the head with the reality.

More millennials today are deciding to live together unmarried than any other generation. They are making this choice for three main reasons:

  1. It’s easier on their pocketbook. They are starting their careers and in many cases underpaid so they move in together with their partner to save on costs.
  2. They’ll get to know each other better.  The way millennials think “You’ll never truly know someone until you move in with them.”
  3. It is widely accepted by society’s standards.

Millennials, for one reason or another, have less respect for marriage.  As I think about my own extended family I can understand why.

It could be that divorce has impacted their life so much that they want to avoid marriage and they think living together, and even having kids out of wedlock, will somehow make life easier and avoid the potential heartache of marriage and possible divorce. Now, rationally that doesn’t quite compute, because a breakup will be just as hard.  But I can see that perspective.

It could also be that because of this trend, there is pressure to move in together as they see so many others do it.

Or, it may simply be that they love their partner and they want to live with them.  Society is saying that’s acceptable and even encourages it through mainstream media, television and movies.  So they go along with society and do it too.

75% of couples today live together before marriage.  And those couples report less happy marriages and are more likely to divorce in the long run.

This brings us back to our point.  The pressure is on US as married couples.  We have to set things back on the right track for marriages in our country.  We can make a difference for the next generation.  We can work our tails off every day to build strong, resilient marriages.  We can and need to love and respect our spouse – directly in front of our kids! Let them see how good it can and should be.  And it’s ok if they see you struggle at times.  If we are going to model good marriages, kids need to see the bad with the good.  Just don’t let them see the REALLY bad stuff!  😉

We understand, this is a lot of pressure on us to start reversing the marriage trend but we can do it!  So keep fighting for your marriage, love and respect your spouse, exhibit that in front of your kids and show them that being in love and being married – before moving in together – is worth it!

God bless you all!



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