Feeling Shame

We read an interesting story recently that prompted us to write this post.

FACT: Leaders struggle too.

For over two years, we have proudly been building this marriage resource for people in every possible situation.  For people like us: those who were engaged to be RE-married after getting divorced.  We learned couples getting remarried are particularly unique because there can be a stigma attached to us, especially in some churches, that keeps remarried couples at arms length while the church focuses on first time married couples.

As we have been building this resource, we have learned so much from married couples in every situation and this much is clear: married couples want and need opportunities to grow and enrich their marriage.

We also learned one other critically important fact – leaders that you know and rely upon will struggle.  Even those who are experts in marriage.

In our space, that means marriage ministry leaders – who offer themselves up to help build strong marriages – will struggle.  We read a compelling story about a couple in full-time ministry, and one a part time worker at a church who were absolutely desperate and in crisis.  Read their story here.

Some of these leaders will feel shame for failing in their roles and some will feel like hypocrites for not always following the same advice that they give.  These people need your encouragement, support and love too.

We have to remember that no one is immune from struggle.  Every person is human.  Everyone fails.

But God can and will redeem and restore every situation for those who have faith.  We are witness to that because this has happened to us!

When we started building Married Strong, Ron Deal, a marriage expert who is coming to New Hampshire on November 1, was the first person to tell us this: You don’t need to be perfect to be a leader, you just need to be authentic.  In fact, Ron told us that people who struggle are perfect for the job because they have real life – and real time – experiences to share.

We’ve had more than our share of struggles.  We have worked through them using as many resources as we could get our hands on!  And we are happy to be entering a new season that allows us to open up even more to share our experiences in hopes that it is helpful to others.

No one is perfect and everyone has value!  Even in the midst of a struggle.

We need only look to the bible to remind us that God has always chosen flawed people to bring hope to a flawed world.

We are proud to be imperfect.  We are proud to have been called to help others build resilient marriages.  And we are happy to share our crazy experiences even if it only helps one couple.

If you know of leaders who are struggling – encourage and pray for them.  Even if they aren’t struggling, thank them for their leadership and pray for a hedge of protection around them!

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