A Text or Two a Day

For us middle aged folk, we might be able to learn something from the younger crowd  with respect to technology and relationships.

Regardless of your age, how often do you communicate with your spouse during the day?  One time – two times – NO times?

Would you believe that, according to Pew Research, 85% of young people expect to hear from their partner at least once a day.  35% expect to hear every few hours!  Thankfully only 11% expect it every hour.  Phew…

Another interesting stat among the 18-25 year old crowd Continue reading “A Text or Two a Day”

Advertisements

Listening, Sharing, Cheering, Dreaming and…Dying

Guys – Do you listen closely to your woman?  Or do you immediately jump to wanting to fix the issue she is having?

Women – Do you cheer your man on at work and in his recreational activities?  Or do you not think about it?

Guys – Do you share your feelings with your wife?  We can hear you laughing!  But seriously, the love of your life wants to know how and what you are feeling – at least occasionally!

Women – Do you talk to your husband about what his dreams are?  And encourage him in his dreams?  When he talks about his dreams do you react positively or just say “oh that’s interesting”?

We know that God made men to want to fix things and most men have to consciously go out of their way to just listen to their spouse.  Continue reading “Listening, Sharing, Cheering, Dreaming and…Dying”

It’s Just Another Day?

Joya and I usually write posts together but I’m taking this one solo.

Father’s Day has taken on a much different tone since my divorce. For several years now I have not had my children on Father’s Day. I try to convince myself it’s not really a big deal. I’ll see them in a few more days and we’ll do something special together.

Probably the hardest thing is that everyone else makes a big deal about Father’s Day (understandably) starting first thing in the morning at church. So when churches ask Dad’s to stand, I don’t get to thank God for my kids and look at them at the same time. As much as I try to escape everyone else’s focus on it – it’s just plain hard to avoid and pretend that it’s just another day. Continue reading “It’s Just Another Day?”

Who Is In Your Church?

We read a quote and statistic today that was eye-catching to say the least!

40% of families in your church and community are blended families.

– FamilyLife

Yup – that’s us!  We are in the growing statistic of couples who got married, had kids, got divorced and then remarried.  And our kids are still under 18 so they are living with us part-time.

There was a time, which seemed not too long ago, when our churches and communities were mostly filled with the “traditional” family – meaning married once with kids.

But, as we all know, over the last couple of decades blended family living has been on the rapid increase.

In fact, approximately 33% of all weddings today will form step-families. Continue reading “Who Is In Your Church?”

50th Anniversary!

As we sit here at the 50th anniversary of the New Hampshire Special Olympics Summer Games – it gives us great perspective on life.

In marriage, so many of our challenges come from being two different people with opposing viewpoints.

Here, we are watching a community of Special Olympics athletes who have intellectual and/or physical challenges because they were either born with them or had some event that caused their disability.

Michael’s son, Liam, was born with Down syndrome. For those who don’t know, Down syndrome is a genetic disorder caused by the presence of an extra 21st chromosome. It is typically associated with physical growth delays, moderate intellectual disability and characteristic facial features. Continue reading “50th Anniversary!”

Remember The Newlywed Game?

How many of you remember this game show?  If you’re from a younger generation, probably not so much.  But our generation witnessed it’s second release in the late 80’s and there was a third release in the mid 90’s after a very successful initial period from 1966-1974.

By the way, if you want to laugh – go to youtube and watch some funny moments from the old Newlywed Game.  There are some hilarious ones there.  Remember the term: “makin’ whoopee”?

Anyway, the purpose of the show is based on how well newlyweds know each other.  However, a few times Bob Eubanks opened the show with a letter from a viewer who said they have been married 10 years, ask themselves the same questions and only get 20% right.  That led to a game with “old-timers”. Continue reading “Remember The Newlywed Game?”

“I’m Sorry.”

Two words never have had such a significant impact and meaning to your spouse.  And we cannot overestimate that importance!

We’re going to keep this one pretty short.  It has been something the two of us have learned so much about in our first two years of marriage.

You may have heard the line made famous from the 1970’s movie Love Story: “Love means you never have to say you’re sorry.”  That is absolutely wrong! 

Love means saying you’re sorry and being genuine about it.

Misunderstanding and hurt is inevitable in marriage.  So saying you’re sorry is one of the most simple things you can do to help your relationship.

A quick three things:

  1. Saying your sorry means you recognize your behavior has an impact on those around you.
  2. Saying your sorry avoids the cycle of fighting about who is right.
  3. Saying your sorry builds trust and mutual respect.

We try to remember this.  Of course, like everyone, we fail but we are constantly learning and striving to be better to each other.

As simple as this issue is, we may be back to expand on it later because it is so important to a marriage.

Have a great weekend!

 

Hide and Seek

Who knew?  We’ve written in the past about how we have built up expectations for our blended family.  Of course, it never comes together quite as fast as we’d like which we recently wrote about after our Cruise Vacation last month.

Just when we were a bit discouraged, all of a sudden, a little game of Hide and Seek picks up our spirits and everyone is playing together and having a blast!

Is there really anything better than the game of Hide and Seek?

We had a wonderful weekend down on Cape Cod over Memorial weekend and on the first day we unexpectedly stopped by this huge, awesome playground (pictured above) in Falmouth and 2 of the 4 kids yell – “Let’s play hide and seek!”  There wasn’t a single soul on the playground except for us so it seemed a perfect opportunity – at least the kids thought so.

After 4 or 5 rounds of Hide and Seek, someone picked up the basketball on the sports court directly next to the playground, and BINGO – we’re in the midst of a game of 3 on 3!

Then to top it off we went to Dairy Queen for ice cream.

IMG_3124.jpg

Here is our conclusion: finding a fun, maybe silly, game to play can be an awesome way to bring your family together – blended or not.  And as much as you may be hesitant to play, DON’T pass it up!  Take these amazing opportunities while you have them!  They won’t be kids forever and it will all be gone in a flash!

One final lesson for our blended family friends – don’t overthink the process of bringing your family together and believe you need to spend a bunch of money to go away or to provide an entertainment venue to have fun.  It is most important just to be together and allow it to happen naturally.  This past weekend was probably the most fun we have had together and it all started with a game of Hide and Seek.

We praise God that we had some great times of growth and fun this weekend!

Pillow Talk

This is good.  First of all, who doesn’t love their pillow?  Second, adding the comfort of your pillow to the love of your spouse and you get a magical combination!  Unless, of course, you have a pillow problem – which we have had – but we’ll save that for another day.  Let’s assume for this post that everyone is comfortable with their pillow!

We have four kids between 10-17 who have tons of activities, and we each have our own careers.  There are days when finding time to connect are downright impossible!  Then we find ourselves falling asleep on the couch as we begin to wind down our day after the kids go to bed.

Now, we all know the importance of connecting with our spouse each day, and at a minimum, we should find 10-15 minutes to just talk one-on-one.  “Pillow talk” may be that one opportunity to connect so let’s dig in to this a little deeper.

This definition of “pillow talk” in the urban dictionary is perfect: for two people to enjoy each other’s presence through conversation, in a somewhat spontaneous way, but in a way that will let both parties go to bed with clear heads. Continue reading “Pillow Talk”

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑