Hooky For Adults

Doesn’t everyone love the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off?  It was a huge hit in 1986 and it seems like people talked about it for at least a decade after.  Young kids may not know about it today – but you can bet they will watch it sometime in their lives!

The movie is a classic about a kid in high school who went to amazing extremes just to skip school and enjoy the day with his friends.  If you haven’t seen it – rent it!

We are NOT writing this to suggest that kids play hooky in an effort to skip school to enjoy the day with friends.

However, we ARE writing this to suggest – if you and your spouse haven’t recently spent some quality time alone – that you play hooky from work!  Because – rather than the movie’s slogan “Leisure Rules”, we believe that “Love Rules” and it needs to be acted on – even if it means skipping work together!

Earlier this year, we desperately needed some time to ourselves so we escaped to the mountains up north and did basically nothing but be together – on a MONDAY!  We relaxed in front of a wood fireplace, stayed in our pajamas, fell asleep on the couch, and enjoyed the beautiful scenery outside.

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Continue reading “Hooky For Adults”

MARRIED STRONG!

FRIENDS!  This is a quick update.

So much has happened for us since we launched our blog “Remarried Forever”.

WOW!  Marriage is hard…and REmarriage is even harder!  At least it is from our perspective.  But marriage is a BLESSING every day!

As we have become more active in the marriage arena we are encountering and lovingly interacting with couples of every stripe: newlyweds, veteran married couples, remarrieds, and even engaged couples.

We know that ALL marriages need support and we don’t want to limit our reach as we seek to share, experience, and help married couples.

So today we are retitling our blog:

MARRIED STRONG!

We will always have a special affinity with couples who have remarried, and those blending a family as we are doing, but we want to celebrate and walk along side all married couples.  We will continue to have material that will likely favor remarried and blended families – but hopefully it will all be helpful and fun!

We look forward to being in touch.  And we are excited to be a resource to make ALL marriages STRONG!

 

LIVE from the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry

As you know, we made a commitment to try to help others who are remarried, blending families, and going through the ups and downs of marriage in a different way than the traditional first time marriage struggles, by sharing our experiences, being transparent and open to anyone in need.

So we decided to fly to Little Rock and attend the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry, which is dedicated to teaching people the best ways to help people like us who are remarried and living in blended families.

Let us say up front that many of these lessons are applicable to all marriages in one form or another, but stepfamilies do have many unique issues: ex-spouses and stepchildren being the two biggest.

Here are a couple of quick first takes: Continue reading “LIVE from the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry”

Do you have a ‘beam’ in your eye?

Let’s face it friends – those of us who have gone through divorce and remarriage are dealing with, or have dealt with, someone in their life who creates hurt.

Pastor Ben at Cape Cod Church said it best: “Every story has a hurt, a villain we can point to as a source of pain”.

What happens when we have a villain? What happens when there is someone who causes hurt to your marriage or your family? The hurt that is created can overwhelm us, twist our lives around, and distract us from what is most important. Continue reading “Do you have a ‘beam’ in your eye?”

Kids overnight summer camp: Who is more afraid, child or parent?

As parents, one of our top jobs is to prepare kids for a life of independence WITHOUT their Mom and Dad. We know that leaving kids at their first overnight camp for a week is hard for the child – but it is also hard for the parents.

The issue of preparing youngsters for a first time overnight camp can be another tough issue to navigate for blended families. It has been a tough one for us these last few weeks.

Knowing that we cannot control what happens when the children are not with us makes our strategies for raising and preparing the kids all the more important. And we know that overnight summer camps are critical in building independence as youngsters grow into teens and then adults.  Continue reading “Kids overnight summer camp: Who is more afraid, child or parent?”

Yes, climbing a mountain can be hard

Have you ever thought to yourself: climbing a mountain can’t be that hard, I’m in shape, the weather is good, this will be a piece of cake.

Well, blending a family is like climbing a mountain for sure. At times it can be straight uphill, and LOOK OUT, sometimes you can get caught in a vicious thunderstorm along the way.

You may have noticed we have been quiet for the last few weeks. Well the truth is, blended life – and regular life – happened and we got caught in that vicious thunderstorm while climbing our family mountain. We hit just about all the obstacles that we could: Joya and I struggled as a team, each of our kids were going through something, and on top of that we had the largest external factors of remarried life pull us into a ditch. Continue reading “Yes, climbing a mountain can be hard”

Who knew bananas and strawberries caused so much grief!

Imagine this scenario – one maybe you’ve lived out before – you are pretty new to blending your family and your wife makes breakfast for all the kids.  You ask your wife to help you give healthy options to the kids during mealtimes.  Naturally, the kids complain.  They only want junk after all!

So they eat some of the healthy food and then leave some on their plate saying those pieces look funny.  You give them a sneer but ultimately give in and figure – “well at least they had some of it”.  What can be wrong with that line of thinking.  They got some healthy food after all, right?

Ummm—maybe not exactly. Continue reading “Who knew bananas and strawberries caused so much grief!”

The little things show you care

I came home from work and was particularly thirsty.  I open the refrigerator and to my wonderful surprise there is a new flavored can of sparkling water – Strawberry Mango.

I am very particular about my soda water because I love tons of fizz.  I have found Schweppes to be the best.  And for about two years I stuck to black cherry and plain.  Until I met Joya and she helped me branch out a bit.

But the flavor of my favorite soda water isn’t the point here.  Keep on reading!

An apology goes a long way

How many of us long for a long, loving marriage and life?  It CAN be done.  It SHOULD be done.  At times it may seem impossible, but it’s at that point when we usually need patience and to dig deep inside.  Maybe think about this peaceful picture of an older couple overlooking the ocean.

It can be easy to get upset at our spouse.  Maybe he didn’t appreciate the time and effort she put into making a wonderful meal for the family after working all day.  Maybe she didn’t ask about his day after a long, hard day he had feeling unappreciated at his workplace.

Or perhaps it is worse.  You already had the big, blow up fight and you are thinking remarriage was a mistake.  DO NOT GO DOWN THAT ROAD!  Keep on reading!

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