1-2-3…STOP!

The Crazy Cycle.  It can start at any moment without a single warning.

What is the crazy cycle?  We have been watching a video series called Love & Respect and according to Emerson Eggerichs, the crazy cycle is the time when we react negatively to each other.  When she feels unloved, she reacts without respect.  When he feels disrespected, he reacts without love.

This crazy cycle will continue until you both stomp your feet in utter anger and leave the room.  OR…one of you puts a stop to it because you are now consciously aware of what is happening.

The crazy cycle hit us just the other day.  One overreaction struck and we continued to  respond to the other negatively.  Continue reading “1-2-3…STOP!”

Advertisements

It IS A Good Friday!

What is “Good Friday” to you?  Good Health?  Good Weekend?  Good Job?  Good Family?  Good Marriage?  Good Kids?  Good Future?  Well if it isn’t it can be!

For Christians and followers of Jesus Christ, it is one of the most important days of the year.  It is the day Jesus was crucified and died on the cross.  And he did that to save us from our sins – which we struggle with daily.

We’ll be the first to tell you that we face down sin every single day!  Whew!  Some days are a LOT harder than others.  But we know that Jesus suffered so that we don’t have to.

For those who don’t follow Jesus Christ, GOOD Friday can be GOOD for plenty of reasons! You can celebrate your blessings and successes with family and friends! And you can be proud to show your love for your spouse and others because it is a GOOD Friday!

And if you are struggling in any area of life, today can be a GOOD Friday to start looking at things a different way!  You are breathing air into your lungs.  You have friends or family somewhere around.  Today can be the day you start looking at the glass half FULL!

Your relationship is broken?  Continue reading “It IS A Good Friday!”

Spring Clean Your Marriage!

It was 70 degrees this weekend so naturally we are thinking about SPRING CLEANING!

Below are some key excerpts from a fabulous post titled ‘9 Tips On How To Spring Clean Your Marriage’ at the great marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard.  Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

 

 

  1. Clean the windows — make sure you are being transparent with your spouse about, well — everything!  There should be no secrets.  Open the windows and let the fresh air in.  Do you welcome outside inspiration from friends, teachings or books?
  2. Move the furniture and clean underneath — is there anything in your marriage you’ve lost and forgotten?  Ways you used to romance each other.  Kindnesses you used to show before life got so busy?  Plan to elevate these things back into your life.  You will be reminded how much you enjoyed them before they got shoved unknowingly under the couch.
  3. Sanitize the bathrooms — there is no more intimate or private room in the home than the bathroom.  And it is the one room that should be cleaned the deepest and the most often.  So too, with our sexual intimacy.  (yes, I’m really comparing our sex life to the bathroom.  lol)  Pay close attention to your ways and keep the marriage bed pure.  Make love often and watch your relationship shine!
  4. Polish the furniture — Dust reveals places no one has touched recently.  If dust is accumulating on the furniture, it is one of the first things guests notice in a home.  May your marriages be dust-free.

Read the full post and the other 5 tips at The Romantic Vineyard!

 

Fun Fact Friday! 83% and 72%

So we have been going through the Love and Respect video series.  If you haven’t done it, it’s worth taking a look or reading the book.  So good.

Here is a couple of pretty unbelievable statistics.  7,000 people were asked this question – yes 7,000! – When you are in conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected.

83% of the men said they feel disrespected.  72% of the women said they feel unloved.

Those are some pretty heavy stats!  They are important to know, because, while men and women both need love and respect equally, during conflict a wife leans toward love and a husband toward respect.

This continues to show how different men and women are and how we can often be misunderstood.

“God made us male and female.  Thus, a husband is not wrong for needing respect, just different from his wife.  A wife is not wrong for needing love, just different from her husband.  A wise person sees the differences and celebrates them.”

– Emerson Eggerichs

Have a great weekend!

Pink & blue sunglasses

Have you ever been in a discussion with your spouse where you are saying one thing that seems simple and to the point, and your spouse is saying something back that seems equally simple and to the point?  All of the sudden you see your spouse’s attitude change instantly.  And your reaction is: “WHAT?  What did I say?  What did I do?”

We just started working through the Love and Respect series which has been SO eye opening to us.  Emerson Eggerichs is brilliant and hits the nail on the head!  He explains that many times in conflict, the issue doesn’t seem to be the the issue.  “What is the issue when the issue isn’t the issue?,” he says.

Watch Emerson Eggerichs explain “the issue”.Screenshot 2019-04-09 17.16.34

You think your spouse should understand you because your comments, on the surface, appear to be straightforward.  Continue reading “Pink & blue sunglasses”

A couple that does yard work together…

How does that old saying go?  “A couple that does yard work together…stays together.”  Or maybe we are remembering a twist on an old saying.  Anyway, last week we had to have our two last trees in the front yard taken down because of the dreaded Ash Bore which is destroying Ash trees all over New Hampshire.  They were once beautiful trees, and after counting the rings on the stump they were exactly 80 years old.

As we all know taking trees down isn’t cheap.  We were fortunate to find a wonderful father and father-in-law team to taken them down the old fashioned way and at an extremely reasonable price.  But to save some money, and some firewood, we asked them to stack the logs in 10 foot sections and pile up the brush for us to take care of ourselves.  They did an amazing job doing that for us.  There are two more brush piles in not in the picture below.

IMG_2615

The picture really doesn’t do the task ahead justice. Continue reading “A couple that does yard work together…”

FUN FACT FRIDAY! The happiest year of marriage is…

Today, we are starting Fun Fact Friday!

There are so many facts out there on marriage it is hard to sift through and consume them all.  So we want to make it easier for you!  These Fun Fact Friday posts are meant to be educational, inspirational, informational, and…well…FUN!

Our first fun fact is from a study of 2,000 people that found couples are happiest in their – wait for it – THIRD YEAR OF MARRIAGE!

The study says:

The third year marks the point when couples begin to settle into comfortable co-existence, having come to terms with each other’s imperfections.

Screenshot 2019-04-04 13.47.48.png

Of course, we all can change statistics and Continue reading “FUN FACT FRIDAY! The happiest year of marriage is…”

Marriage is about getting naked.

(This post was first published on the in-between adventures)

If you’re married and you haven’t sat next to your spouse with no pants on, watching Brooklyn 99, then you’re missing out.  But really.

Screenshot 2019-04-02 14.11.18

A few weeks ago Jacob and I were sitting on our couch watching Wall-E and eating snacks.  Our window was open and we heard some friends in the parking lot.  They yelled up to our second floor apartment asking if we wanted to join them for half-off apps at Applebee’s.  We looked at each other, decided it’d be fun, and then yelled back down.  ‘Yes, we’ll be there in two minutes!  We need to put clothes on.’ Continue reading “Marriage is about getting naked.”

Do we really need counseling?

Like it or not, counseling has a bit of a stigma to it.

Some believe that counseling is not necessary and we should be able to resolve our problems on our own or by using some other resource.  This is an understandable opinion.  Some would rather reach out to close friends, their church, read expert books together, or watch marriage videos rather than bring a stranger into the marriage.

Others believe that it is even offensive to have to talk to a counselor or others about the problems inside their marriage.  This is also understandable.  Marriage is very personal – and marital problems are that much more personal.  How on earth could a stranger really help?

Then, there are those who believe that counseling is the ‘be all and end all’.  Those folks believe that counseling is the only resource that can help and is critically important if the marriage is to succeed.

Of course, all opinions are valid, but, we want to state clearly that we believe marriage counseling is indeed a resource that can help you and one that is worth pursuing.

First, in order to have success in counseling, you must find someone that both of you connect with.  If one, or both, of you don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of someone you just met, then it will never work. Continue reading “Do we really need counseling?”

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑