“I’m Sorry.”

Two words never have had such a significant impact and meaning to your spouse.  And we cannot overestimate that importance!

We’re going to keep this one pretty short.  It has been something the two of us have learned so much about in our first two years of marriage.

You may have heard the line made famous from the 1970’s movie Love Story: “Love means you never have to say you’re sorry.”  That is absolutely wrong! 

Love means saying you’re sorry and being genuine about it.

Misunderstanding and hurt is inevitable in marriage.  So saying you’re sorry is one of the most simple things you can do to help your relationship.

A quick three things:

  1. Saying your sorry means you recognize your behavior has an impact on those around you.
  2. Saying your sorry avoids the cycle of fighting about who is right.
  3. Saying your sorry builds trust and mutual respect.

We try to remember this.  Of course, like everyone, we fail but we are constantly learning and striving to be better to each other.

As simple as this issue is, we may be back to expand on it later because it is so important to a marriage.

Have a great weekend!

 

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1-2-3…STOP!

The Crazy Cycle.  It can start at any moment without a single warning.

What is the crazy cycle?  We have been watching a video series called Love & Respect and according to Emerson Eggerichs, the crazy cycle is the time when we react negatively to each other.  When she feels unloved, she reacts without respect.  When he feels disrespected, he reacts without love.

This crazy cycle will continue until you both stomp your feet in utter anger and leave the room.  OR…one of you puts a stop to it because you are now consciously aware of what is happening.

The crazy cycle hit us just the other day.  One overreaction struck and we continued to  respond to the other negatively.  Continue reading “1-2-3…STOP!”

Let’s Talk Money!

You may have heard this before.  The number one issue that couples fight about isn’t sex, kids, or the in-laws.  The big issue?  MOOOOOOLA!  BACON!  CABBAGE!  GREENBACKS!  In other words – HOW ARE WE PAYING THE BILLS?  We were surprised to learn this was the top issue of conflict.

We are leaving the stressful month of April which includes annual tax filing and school vacation.  This can be a difficult time for marriages and families. One, many people have to pay to prepare their taxes.  Two, many people have to pay taxes on top of what they have already paid throughout the year.  And let’s face it – there is a never a good time to have to pay taxes!  Three, vacation spending can add to the financial anxiety.

As is the case with most couples, one spouse manages the money and the other spouse tends to spend the money.  Sometimes, one spouse won’t event talk about, think about, or breathe a word about money.

So let’s say you both approach money from different perspectives.  And let’s say it’s a problem – you are spending more money than you are making.  Credit card debt is rising.  Home equity line is increasing (guilty).  You and your spouse aren’t seeing eye to eye.

First order of business – a budget!  Below is our basic budget template.  Continue reading “Let’s Talk Money!”

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