Spring Clean Your Marriage!

It was 70 degrees this weekend so naturally we are thinking about SPRING CLEANING!

Below are some key excerpts from a fabulous post titled ‘9 Tips On How To Spring Clean Your Marriage’ at the great marriage blog, The Romantic Vineyard.  Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

 

 

  1. Clean the windows — make sure you are being transparent with your spouse about, well — everything!  There should be no secrets.  Open the windows and let the fresh air in.  Do you welcome outside inspiration from friends, teachings or books?
  2. Move the furniture and clean underneath — is there anything in your marriage you’ve lost and forgotten?  Ways you used to romance each other.  Kindnesses you used to show before life got so busy?  Plan to elevate these things back into your life.  You will be reminded how much you enjoyed them before they got shoved unknowingly under the couch.
  3. Sanitize the bathrooms — there is no more intimate or private room in the home than the bathroom.  And it is the one room that should be cleaned the deepest and the most often.  So too, with our sexual intimacy.  (yes, I’m really comparing our sex life to the bathroom.  lol)  Pay close attention to your ways and keep the marriage bed pure.  Make love often and watch your relationship shine!
  4. Polish the furniture — Dust reveals places no one has touched recently.  If dust is accumulating on the furniture, it is one of the first things guests notice in a home.  May your marriages be dust-free.

Read the full post and the other 5 tips at The Romantic Vineyard!

 

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FUN FACT FRIDAY! The happiest year of marriage is…

Today, we are starting Fun Fact Friday!

There are so many facts out there on marriage it is hard to sift through and consume them all.  So we want to make it easier for you!  These Fun Fact Friday posts are meant to be educational, inspirational, informational, and…well…FUN!

Our first fun fact is from a study of 2,000 people that found couples are happiest in their – wait for it – THIRD YEAR OF MARRIAGE!

The study says:

The third year marks the point when couples begin to settle into comfortable co-existence, having come to terms with each other’s imperfections.

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Of course, we all can change statistics and Continue reading “FUN FACT FRIDAY! The happiest year of marriage is…”

Do we really need counseling?

Like it or not, counseling has a bit of a stigma to it.

Some believe that counseling is not necessary and we should be able to resolve our problems on our own or by using some other resource.  This is an understandable opinion.  Some would rather reach out to close friends, their church, read expert books together, or watch marriage videos rather than bring a stranger into the marriage.

Others believe that it is even offensive to have to talk to a counselor or others about the problems inside their marriage.  This is also understandable.  Marriage is very personal – and marital problems are that much more personal.  How on earth could a stranger really help?

Then, there are those who believe that counseling is the ‘be all and end all’.  Those folks believe that counseling is the only resource that can help and is critically important if the marriage is to succeed.

Of course, all opinions are valid, but, we want to state clearly that we believe marriage counseling is indeed a resource that can help you and one that is worth pursuing.

First, in order to have success in counseling, you must find someone that both of you connect with.  If one, or both, of you don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable in front of someone you just met, then it will never work. Continue reading “Do we really need counseling?”

MARRIED STRONG!

FRIENDS!  This is a quick update.

So much has happened for us since we launched our blog “Remarried Forever”.

WOW!  Marriage is hard…and REmarriage is even harder!  At least it is from our perspective.  But marriage is a BLESSING every day!

As we have become more active in the marriage arena we are encountering and lovingly interacting with couples of every stripe: newlyweds, veteran married couples, remarrieds, and even engaged couples.

We know that ALL marriages need support and we don’t want to limit our reach as we seek to share, experience, and help married couples.

So today we are retitling our blog:

MARRIED STRONG!

We will always have a special affinity with couples who have remarried, and those blending a family as we are doing, but we want to celebrate and walk along side all married couples.  We will continue to have material that will likely favor remarried and blended families – but hopefully it will all be helpful and fun!

We look forward to being in touch.  And we are excited to be a resource to make ALL marriages STRONG!

 

5 Love Languages

We just finished up leading the 5 Love Languages Life Group at our church last night. This study is such a great way to learn how best to understand and serve your spouse. As we concluded, we learned something so important about being “in love” – and those first tingly feelings you get when you know your spouse is the one.

That “in love” experience usually ends within the first 2 years. Then what?

The following two paragraphs are from the 5 Love Languages work book: Continue reading “5 Love Languages”

LIVE from the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry

As you know, we made a commitment to try to help others who are remarried, blending families, and going through the ups and downs of marriage in a different way than the traditional first time marriage struggles, by sharing our experiences, being transparent and open to anyone in need.

So we decided to fly to Little Rock and attend the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry, which is dedicated to teaching people the best ways to help people like us who are remarried and living in blended families.

Let us say up front that many of these lessons are applicable to all marriages in one form or another, but stepfamilies do have many unique issues: ex-spouses and stepchildren being the two biggest.

Here are a couple of quick first takes: Continue reading “LIVE from the Summit on Stepfamily Ministry”

Are you banging a square peg in a round hole?

We are just one month away from our first wedding anniversary, which will also mark one year together as a blended family. Of course, with 4 busy kids and us only having them 50% of the time, it has been difficult to “blend” and get to know each other.

When we bring two families together after living very separate lives for a long period of time, it feels a bit like trying to shove a square peg into a round hole. We want it to work so bad that we keep pushing and forcing that square peg insisting that it will fit into the round hole!

However, what we want and the reality are often two separate things.

One of the most common sayings is “Stepfamilies cook in a crock pot, not a blender.” (Thank you Ron Deal) Obviously that means that bringing together a stepfamily takes time, and they aren’t forced together but come together in their own way, in their own time. Unlike that of whipping together a quick protein shake in a blender.   Continue reading “Are you banging a square peg in a round hole?”

Guys, this one’s for you

Do you ever feel like you are in a rut?  Like you can’t do anything right sometimes?  Work is overwhelming…the kids are at each other…there doesn’t seem to be much peace in the house…and you and your wife are distant.  Well here is an idea for you…

Take a few days – maybe even five – and do some special things for your wife.  I know – you’re thinking “I have so much going on – especially with kids running around like crazy – how will this help me?”  You’ll be surprised if you haven’t done it!  First, you WILL get a reaction from your wife.  And let me tell you something else – the romance that could follow might be the best you’ve had in a while!

Here’s what to do: Continue reading “Guys, this one’s for you”

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