Feeling Shame

We read an interesting story recently that prompted us to write this post.

FACT: Leaders struggle too.

For over two years, we have proudly been building this marriage resource for people in every possible situation.  For people like us: those who were engaged to be RE-married after getting divorced.  We learned couples getting remarried are particularly unique because there can be a stigma attached to us, especially in some churches, that keeps remarried couples at arms length while the church focuses on first time married couples.

As we have been building this resource, we have learned so much from married couples in every situation and this much is clear: married couples want and need opportunities to grow and enrich their marriage.

We also learned one other critically important fact – leaders that you know and rely upon will struggle.  Even those who are experts in marriage.

In our space, that means marriage ministry leaders – who offer themselves up to help build strong marriages – will struggle.  We read a compelling story about a couple in full-time ministry, and one a part time worker at a church who were absolutely desperate and in crisis.  Read their story here. Continue reading “Feeling Shame”

It’s Time To Speak Up At Church

So many of us look for guidance, help, shelter, comfort and advice from our churches.  But we sometimes fail to appreciate and recognize that, just like us, churches aren’t perfect.

Churches try to serve as many as they can in their congregation with different programs and ministries.  But, after all, they will never fully know the needs of their congregation unless we tell them straight up what WE need.  Or unless they ask and we answer honestly and openly.

According a survey by LifeWay Research and Focus on the Family, 75% of Pastors say they are doing enough in their church to help marriages.  Yet only 69% of churches have an ongoing ministry.  That’s a mighty big disconnect.  (In New Hampshire it is more like 95% of churches that don’t have a marriage ministry).  Great article here about the challenges Pastors face with marriage ministries.

When we entered the marriage ministry one year ago, we were somewhat critical of  churches for not prioritizing and focusing on what we believe to be the overarching issue in the breakdown of our families across America.  We believe that is marriage.  And we believe that marriage should be the priority of every church.  But we are just two people who don’t have a say – which is why we are here writing. Continue reading “It’s Time To Speak Up At Church”

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