1-2-3…STOP!

The Crazy Cycle.  It can start at any moment without a single warning.

What is the crazy cycle?  We have been watching a video series called Love & Respect and according to Emerson Eggerichs, the crazy cycle is the time when we react negatively to each other.  When she feels unloved, she reacts without respect.  When he feels disrespected, he reacts without love.

This crazy cycle will continue until you both stomp your feet in utter anger and leave the room.  OR…one of you puts a stop to it because you are now consciously aware of what is happening.

The crazy cycle hit us just the other day.  One overreaction struck and we continued to  respond to the other negatively.  Continue reading “1-2-3…STOP!”

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Fun Fact Friday! 83% and 72%

So we have been going through the Love and Respect video series.  If you haven’t done it, it’s worth taking a look or reading the book.  So good.

Here is a couple of pretty unbelievable statistics.  7,000 people were asked this question – yes 7,000! – When you are in conflict with your spouse or significant other, do you feel unloved at that moment or disrespected.

83% of the men said they feel disrespected.  72% of the women said they feel unloved.

Those are some pretty heavy stats!  They are important to know, because, while men and women both need love and respect equally, during conflict a wife leans toward love and a husband toward respect.

This continues to show how different men and women are and how we can often be misunderstood.

“God made us male and female.  Thus, a husband is not wrong for needing respect, just different from his wife.  A wife is not wrong for needing love, just different from her husband.  A wise person sees the differences and celebrates them.”

– Emerson Eggerichs

Have a great weekend!

Pink & blue sunglasses

Have you ever been in a discussion with your spouse where you are saying one thing that seems simple and to the point, and your spouse is saying something back that seems equally simple and to the point?  All of the sudden you see your spouse’s attitude change instantly.  And your reaction is: “WHAT?  What did I say?  What did I do?”

We just started working through the Love and Respect series which has been SO eye opening to us.  Emerson Eggerichs is brilliant and hits the nail on the head!  He explains that many times in conflict, the issue doesn’t seem to be the the issue.  “What is the issue when the issue isn’t the issue?,” he says.

Watch Emerson Eggerichs explain “the issue”.Screenshot 2019-04-09 17.16.34

You think your spouse should understand you because your comments, on the surface, appear to be straightforward.  Continue reading “Pink & blue sunglasses”

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